Friday, June 8, 2012

a true story that never happened


I meet her every day. I follow her each and every single day. I spend all day looking at her. Every chance I get to see her face is the moment I seek from the last.

That was ten years ago. We were studying together in secondary school then. She was the most beautiful girl in the class that every boy envied to be with. She was the center of the attention in each moment; at least for me, she was.

I was the geek of the class. I was the nerd who studies hard and excels in every subject but fails in everything else. Even lacks the courage to look in to her eyes when she rarely, albeit, unintentionally sees my face. 

It’s not that we never talked. We might have talked.  We studied together for next three years and had a close friendship. At least I felt she treats me special, maybe that’s stretching the truth to the breaking point.

The day I found out that she was not going to be with me in A’level is one of the many in the series of disappointments I had to endure in coming years. She left the school to seek and build a career. I studied hard in school while scraping for any news about her in every single way possible. 

The next in the series of disappointment is the last day of my school life. After five years of heartache and at last I picked up the courage to contact her. Of course she never remembered me. She never knew who I was. Exactly who am I to her is a question I wouldn't have any answer either.

Two years passed since our little non-existent and forced encounter. I had a dream. There was a girl so beautiful and lovely walking towards me. I did not dare blink my eyes even once for the fear she might vanish nor that I could even if I wanted to. She walked to me and kissed me passionately. With tear filled eyes she complained why I do not love her. Amidst sobs, she demanded why I do not fight for her as she always was mine to take away. I could not talk nor could I comfort her in way. I held on to her until she vanished in to darkness.

I woke up and spend whole night thinking about her. I have never even once heard anything about her for two years but only two days passed until I found out that she has married few days before. 

Two years passed since, today, I saw her; doting and cuddling a small girl. The girl was the spitting image of her. I did not seek her eyes for any recognition nor did I have any courage to do so.

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