Friday, March 13, 2015


If you are here, you are at the right place.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

its what we do

it's what we do that defines us.
someone told me that sometime ago.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Taking a hike

Life goes by even when we don't do anything. Not that we could spend our life without doing anything at all. We got to breathe, may be in a distant land they have discovered a way to live without the need of breathing, I wouldn't know for sure.
Life's been a mess as it usually is. There is nothing I or anyone could do to make it simple. The simplest decision in the life leads you in to more complicated aspects of life that you wanted to avoid in the first place. When you were studying, you would've traded everything you have to do in classes to be in a job. Now after being a job for year and half, I would gladly swap places with my life of two years ago.
Being demotivated in most of the time in life makes you hate your life. Not that you have ever succeeded in any aspect of life facing it head-on. There is a reason why I hate when people say "I know how that feels like",when you have never walked my path, never been through what I have gone through and never once felt the pain I feel every single second of the day; then how on world can I believe that you could empathize me.

Friday, June 8, 2012

a true story that never happened

I meet her every day. I follow her each and every single day. I spend all day looking at her. Every chance I get to see her face is the moment I seek from the last.

That was ten years ago. We were studying together in secondary school then. She was the most beautiful girl in the class that every boy envied to be with. She was the center of the attention in each moment; at least for me, she was.

I was the geek of the class. I was the nerd who studies hard and excels in every subject but fails in everything else. Even lacks the courage to look in to her eyes when she rarely, albeit, unintentionally sees my face. 

It’s not that we never talked. We might have talked.  We studied together for next three years and had a close friendship. At least I felt she treats me special, maybe that’s stretching the truth to the breaking point.

The day I found out that she was not going to be with me in A’level is one of the many in the series of disappointments I had to endure in coming years. She left the school to seek and build a career. I studied hard in school while scraping for any news about her in every single way possible. 

The next in the series of disappointment is the last day of my school life. After five years of heartache and at last I picked up the courage to contact her. Of course she never remembered me. She never knew who I was. Exactly who am I to her is a question I wouldn't have any answer either.

Two years passed since our little non-existent and forced encounter. I had a dream. There was a girl so beautiful and lovely walking towards me. I did not dare blink my eyes even once for the fear she might vanish nor that I could even if I wanted to. She walked to me and kissed me passionately. With tear filled eyes she complained why I do not love her. Amidst sobs, she demanded why I do not fight for her as she always was mine to take away. I could not talk nor could I comfort her in way. I held on to her until she vanished in to darkness.

I woke up and spend whole night thinking about her. I have never even once heard anything about her for two years but only two days passed until I found out that she has married few days before. 

Two years passed since, today, I saw her; doting and cuddling a small girl. The girl was the spitting image of her. I did not seek her eyes for any recognition nor did I have any courage to do so.